So Much for Peace & Quiet
by Aquade
Summary: [Takes place after Needle Point] An average day in the penguin's habitat turns from talks of different fears to taking inventory – with explosive results, of course. "We're taking inventory before we leave." "An inventory of Rico's…. stomach properties?" "Exactly."


**For lunacorns14:** **Happy Belated Birthday, lieutenant!**

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It was an average day in the Central Park Zoo. All around, there was a buzzing of life. However, zoom in to the penguin's habitat, and you'll discover that there didn't seem to be anyone there. The water around the artificial ice floe was still, reflecting the sun's rays and the fence around. No webbed feet pattered around the gray stone. It would appear that all was silent in the habitat until—

The fishbowl exploded up into the air before clattering down to hide the entrance again, stilling with a loud noise.

"Rico! How many times have I told you? No unauthorized explosions in the base!" Skipper's voice rang out through the silence.

Rico shrugged. "There was a mosquito," he blabbered out, the weapon waving through the air as he gestured wildly with his flippers. "So I shot it."

Skipper gave him an aggrieved look. "And you had to use the bazooka, didn't you?" he said sarcastically.

Rico nodded vigorously. "Um hmm!" he agreed. "You understand, right?"

Skipper narrowed his eyes at the penguin, trying to discern whether Rico had completely missed the sarcasm or if he was making fun of him. At last, he shook his head. It didn't matter. "Maintenance duty for a week, Rico."

"Aw," the penguin pouted, swallowing the weapon again.

Skipper shook his head, waddling back to his half-completed ship in the bottle. Private looked up from his fallen deck of cards. "All clear, Kowalski."

The scientist came out from his lab, clutching a precious beaker in his grasp. He glared at Rico. "You nearly made me drop it!" he accused. "Do you have any idea how catastrophic that would be?"

"No," Rico replied plainly.

Kowalski resisted the urge to face-palm. "Never mind, then."

Private carefully placed two cards leaning on each other. "Kowalski? Can I ask you a question?"

The avian glanced at his teammate. "Sure."

"Why are you so afraid of the dentist? I mean, it took you hours to return and even then, you snuck into the office to change the appointment."

Both Skipper and Rico looked up, interested in Kowalski's answer. Kowalski shifted the beaker to its rightful position. "It's a long story, Private. Besides, we all have our fears." He turned to face the young penguin once more. "You have badgers. Skipper has his needles. Rico's superstitious, and I'm afraid of the dentist. I'm pretty sure we all have our reasons."

"Yes, but I trusted you all enough to tell you the reason for my fear," Private pressed.

"As you told nearly everyone in the zoo as well." Kowalski smiled.

Private crossed his flippers. "It's not _my_ fault I trust a lot of people."

"No, it isn't," Kowalski agreed. "In fact, it's a Private thing."

Skipper chuckled. "Needles just bring bad memories to mind as well as irrational fear," he admitted. "That's as much as you're getting out of me."

Rico shrugged. "Always superstitious."

They looked at Kowalski expectantly as the scientist shifted uncomfortable. "The dentist brings up a bad memory," he explained. "One that I'll rather not relive."

"Once bitten, twice shy," Skipper said. "Makes sense."

"But, Kowalski," asked Private. "Not all dentists are like the one you went to."

"Still." Kowalski smiled sadly. "The memory scarred me. It's just like asking Skipper to get a shot willingly."

Skipper shuddered as he eyed them all suspiciously. "For the record, I'm not doing that again."

Kowalski grinned at them as he returned to his lab. He closed the door behind him, grabbing a green solution beside him absentmindedly as he poured out the correct measurements. Let's see if he could recreate that—

"Kowalski! Come out! We're getting snowcones!"

So much for that idea.

"Coming!" he called out, a faint smile appearing. Ah, this were never boring here.

He pushed open his door and promptly tripped over a 'mountain' of objects. "What the—"

Skipper dragged him to the sidelines. "We're taking inventory before we leave."

Kowalski blinked as Rico hacked up more objects into the pile. "An inventory of Rico's…. stomach properties?"

"Exactly." Skipper nodded satisfyingly.

Kowalski took a seat beside Private. "This will take a while, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, most definitely," Private agreed.

Skipper glanced up as Rico regurgitated a chainsaw. He looked down at the clipboard he was making notes on. "Let's see, that's the…. fourth chainsaw. Goodness, man! What is it with you and those weapons?"

Rico shrugged, another chainsaw making its way out of his mouth. "Last one," he promised.

Skipper narrowed his eyes at the penguin, shaking his head. "Are you sure?"

Rico paused for a while, shaking his stomach here and there. He nodded. "Sure."

Skipper made a mark on the paper. "Next up, bazookas. I know you have at least one."

Rico grinned at him. "More! Three!"

"Three?" repeated Private in shock. "Why do you have five chainsaws and three bazookas in your stomach? Will we ever need that much?"

Kowalski turned to him. "Probably not, but it never hurts to play safe. Besides, think of how many bombs and explosives he keeps in there."

Rico's eyes gleamed. "Twenty!" he informed them a little too happily.

Private turned pale, gazing at the hazardous pile of weapons filling up the room. "I'm going up top. I have no desire to stay here if everything explodes."

Realization dawned on Kowalski as the possibility struck him. His mind rapidly ran over the chances of that very event occurring, and he gulped when the numbers he came up did stack in their favor. "I'll join you, Private. You know what? Why don't we do an impromptu recon around the zoo while we're at it?"

Skipper waved them away distractedly; busy counting the number of dynamite sticks Rico was producing. "Yeah, sure. You two go do that."

Both Kowalski and Private fled up the ladder. In fact, they had just jumped into the water when Skipper's frantic voice and Rico's yells floated to their ears.

"No, Rico! Get that contained before—"

The fishbowl flew into the air. Kowalski and Private exchanged a look. Private frowned. "Should we—"

"Rico! You're lucky that was only a minor explosion!" Skipper chided.

Kowalski chuckled nervously. He didn't really want to stay around to find out what Skipper classified as a major explosion. "Nah, I think they've got it all handled, don't you?"

"Oh, most definitely."


End file.
